Hello dear people,
I am turning/turned 34 today.
It’s always bittersweet, another passing year.
It feels very strange to have come to this age and to not have so much of what I would have hoped that I would have at this age. I don’t regret the choices I’ve made in my life, but I do know I chose a road of loneliness and instability to a certain degree. To write about the things I do isolates you from your loved ones in amorphous, intangible—and yet painful—ways. I think of the separation I’ve imposed onto my biological family, but also those lines that separated me as a child, that then continued the separation I now feel as an adult. Children of abuse can’t just reconfigure and forget, sometimes when you choose to heal, you have to cut yourself from the source and the root of all the turmoil.
I am looking for belonging, yet the world has been an unsafe place. I turned to writing because I had nowhere else to go, and this is where I’ve been saved time and time again. This is what moved me to start writing Like A Bird as a young girl, this is what moved me to choose life and write Who Is Wellness For? I’m alive as a commitment to my words and my story; that promise is what guides me each day. That, and my belief in God, and the divine, knowing that my life is not mine. It’s a vessel for healing and revolution. But this kind of path is also a lonely path.
Anyway, birthdays are weird and I cry all the time, and I’m currently moving through brutal interpersonal shifts that are humbling me.
This is where I need your help. Writing doesn’t pay well but I crave a life where I’m not scrummaging every couple of months. I also have to pay almost $10,000 in visa fees (my third O1 visa) so I’m turning to all of you in hopes that you will make my life a little bit easier.
Currently, I have 13,633 subscribers but only 780 of you are paid.
My goal is to get to 1,000 paid subscribers in the next few months, and I would appreciate your support.
My Substack is my main source of income and has been for the last few years. This January will be its fourth anniversary. I know many of you read this newsletter because so many of you tell me you do in my DMs or even when I see some of you in person. It means so much to me, but I would appreciate your financial support, as well. My most read piece, “My heart, oh, Palestine” was read 28,000 times! I know that my work is valuable, and I’m tired of feeling undervalued monetarily for what I do.
$5 is the monthly subscription ask, which is now less than the average price of an oat latte!? It’s giving: economic crisis. C’est la vie. But my point is, the newsletter is the equivalent price of a little snack. Except it’s nutritious! Please consider getting a subscription for yourself today!!!
Other ways you can support me are:
Buy my books!
Survival Takes A Wild Imagination
If you want to donate to me directly (especially for the visa) you can use Venmo and PayPal. Many of you have changed my life financially because of your generosity, and I thank you. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I actually rely so much on my readership, but I think back to the patronage that someone like Da Vinci had, for example. I long for financial safety so I can go and make what I need to make.
Creating this newsletter was an act of desperation that then became my main source of income. I am grateful that I get to do this, thank you for trusting me and coming on this journey with me.
I appreciate you and your support & for believing in me.
yours,
f
Happiest birthday, dear Fariha! You are a gift to this world. Your radical truth telling via your writing and solstice workshops has inspired and carried me this past year.
I feel so emotional on my birthday, too! I thought it was a Sag thing lol. Praying that you feel so loved and held by your chosen family + community on this day and throughout year 34! 💫
On your last birthday, I gifted myself with a paid subscription and it's been one of the best gifts I have ever received. Thank you for your words and being, Fariha <3