Things that I've learned at 31

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I’m tempted to write, “Nothing” to the things that I’ve learned at 31… because who am I kidding? As if I really know anything. I don’t mean this to sound like the self-deprecating tone I may have once used to say this, playing off my intelligence with incessant and emphatic gestures of “I’m listening” wide-eyed and so sickeningly honest. I’m not like th…